Visions of Upcountry IT Apocalyptic Mayhem
If I ever wrote a book about my experiences with IT here (which I won’t), I think I would title it Memoirs and Visions of Upcountry IT Apocalyptic Mayhem.As the time for me to leave here draws nigh, I’m starting to imagine a horrible future for IT in Basse. In my nightmarish visions I see power supplies and monitors exploding every which way. I see Phillips-head screwdrivers jabbing violently into motherboards. I see one of my counterparts with the most sinister laughter, arms spread out at his sides – a box of matches in one hand and WD40 in the other hand - standing over a computer case that’s sparking and pulsating with plumes of fire. I see my other counterpart laughing like a hyena and scuffing his shoes on the carpet to build static electricity and then handling sticks of RAM. I also see the Brontok virus (a ridiculously annoying and widespread computer virus here - non-sexually transmitted through flash drives) mutating and going airborne and people uncontrollably defecating executable files disguised as folders (that’s what the virus does). I see infected zombie children tearing out all of the cat5 cable and then using it as jump ropes and donkey whips. I also see our school’s data entry clerks gathering all of the town’s keyboards and setting them below the only 3 story building in Basse, dousing them with gasoline, and then I see them carrying the Education Office’s $5000 heavy duty copy machine to the top of that 3 story building, setting it on fire, and then pushing it off of the building onto the keyboards. Just for good measure, the Four Horsemen will stop by and club people in the faces with swinging mice. When all is destroyed and the dust has settled, Basse will appear to have been bombed by TigerDirect.com.
Just because I'm a Peace Corps volunteer I think I'm required to actually say I'm joking. The Thought Police are always reading these. There are actually people employed in Washington to read and monitor Peace Corps blogs and correct them if they see fit. It's probably for the best I suppose. I know some pretty deranged volunteers posting out there.